this world is ours - let's make it beautiful

insomnia is terrible. i can't stand it. i don't know how to fix it, either. i need to start working out more, in the worst way. tawnya and i were supposed to have started a workout routine two weeks ago, but that didn't happen. i don't know why i'm so lazy. i need to start working on that. i did swim 10 laps today, and i totally forgot how extremely painful that can be...i will start doing that more, though. definitely. things for me right now are complicated. it's so confusing. my heart is in 10 different places, and i just don't feel genuinely GOOD about anything right now. i need to really start working on that, it's on my list. but so is 500 other things. i need to start prioritizing. and stop being so tired every day. and just be better and happier. this is a worthless post, but it's 11 and i got out of bed to get on the computer. i have been overposting here, facebook, and twitter, but it's a healthy addiction. :)

with all of these relationship problems going on around me, i don't know how i'm holding together so well! but i am happy i can be there for my friends, if nothing else. i do what i can, and i'll do anything i can to make things better/easier for them.

i have been doing a fantastic job of keeping up with my to-do list that i previously posted. i am adding to it as things come up, and i'm still getting them taken care of in a fairly smooth manner. last night was our last scrimmage/practice before the season starts on june 12th. i am very excited, i was all over the bats yesterday, and that's awesome. good things will come from that, i'm sure! it took me long enough to start to feel it again. today i plan on going swimming, the pool is nothing short of extremely inviting today. i definitely need to swim some laps, that's for darn sure. i'm stressing out about money, a lot. but i'm still looking for jobs, so it's not like i'm not putting in ANY effort. i gave away my 5 tickets i got for the diamondbacks, i was going to go but my back is killing me today, and tomorrow is mom's birthday. OH i talked to brother and we have decided that for dad's birthday we will get him tickets to the monster jam. he wanted to go in january but we couldn't with everything going on. but we have to figure out what to get for mom's birthday tomorrow, and that's proving to be QUITE the challenge...haha. what do you get for the mom who has EVERYTHING?! i must be off to discover new things...

so i really, really, really want this. i told dad my birthday is coming, soon! haha. but it's got volleyball, inline skating, and basketball now. and it records how you're doing the exercises, and tells you what you're doing wrong. it's insane! i need a job. :( and it's compatible with wii fit!

.chemistry homework - 2 more problems.
.call insurance company about windshields
.watch harry potter & the sorcerers stone
.return taken to blockbuster
.return slumdog to redbox
.rechargeable battery for my wii fit
.shopping for shorts/summer stuff
.phone bill
.buffalo wild wings with bfff, cousin, and brother & his friends
.taxes stuff
.teach mom farm town
.dad's web page
.fix macbook cooling fan
.buy new macbook cooling fan
.work on dad's zune
.set up wii fit in living room
.water the yards
.bathroom box in living room
.job applications
.find asu paperwork
.to frys to buy propel body for softball
.pay phone bill for brother & tyler
.babysit christopher - 9AM friday!
.starbucks with tyler
.cash money order for softball
.return rechargeable battery for wii fit

just watched this movie, and i thought it was fantastic. it kind of took a while, but i liked the story-line, and the ending. all the right things to make it a movie i appreciate. :)

p.s. redbox is my new bfff<3.

tonight cousin, tawnya, and i watched this movie, and it was FANTASTIC. i can't believe i haven't seen it before. there is a list of movies i haven't seen that i need to, apparently, so we will work on that this summer. i went to wing night with everyone, it was an alright time. i texted the whole time...found out some stuff tonight that kind of makes me very nervous/confused. but i'll deal with that in due time. i'm tired, and wanted to say that the movie was great, and AS ALWAYS i love james mcavoy who i had NO idea was in this movie. two of my favorite movies star HIM!! :)

bought this today and it's going to be SO much fun to play with the girls! :) tomorrow is movie night, btw. with cousin, and i, and i was going to ask if tawnya could come, it will be a BLAST!!! love my girls!

i think it's supposed to rain this week, and i really want to go ride my quad in the rain, it's the most amazing thing to do, ever! i think this week is going to be an awesome week for me. friends, and fun, and rain!!! :) sweeeeeeet lovin'. OH and tree frogs<333.

so tyler rented this movie so i could see it, last night. it was terrific. he saw it in theaters with his friends, but i watched it last night and almost thoroughly enjoyed it. it was a really good story line, overall, and it had a nice ending, which i always enjoy. for getting old, liam neeson is pretty hot, love his voice. haha! but it was good, loved the plot and the happy ending.

so one of these fat little cuties will be MINEEEE by next weekend. thanks to my boyfriend, and my veryyyyy bfffff in the whole world, tawnya. i just have to figure out what to name him!!! i hope they have really pretty turquoise onessss! but i like the green ones, too! we shall see. :)

last night with cousin, tyler, brother, tawnya, and xavier, we went to D&B, and it was SO much fun. we got so much fun stuff with our tickets, it was awesome. and tyler and xavier were just drunk enough to amuse the crap out of all of us. haha! :)!!

here is a list of things that i could/should be doing:


1. finding and unpacking my chemistry book.
2. reading my chemistry chapters.
3. working on my horses.
4. reading my book.
5. sorting through mounds of laundry.
6. unloading my truck from mesa.
7. figuring out how to organize my room.
8. unpacking the boxes from my truck.
9. getting goodwill stuff together.
10. cleaning lasagna's cage.pretty sure i did that at midnight...
11. watching the tale of despereaux.
12. hanging out with tawnya.(cousin)
13. helping mom with dinner.
14. trying to figure out how to balance my fan.
15. cleaning up the living room.
16. the actual cleaning and organizing of my room.
17. finding and unpacking my tv remote.
18. going to mesa to get my NEW DESK!!!
19. putting all of my laundry back into it's correct places.

the list goes on and on, and still i'm sitting here doing absolutely nothing...

chemistry is going to be my life for the next 16 weeks. i will live, sleep, eat, breathe it. i will do everything in my power not only to pass it, but to get an A. kind of sad that it won't transfer to ASU as an A, only a pass/fail, but in my heart i will know that i did it. i spent the day paying for the class, registering for Mastering Chemistry again, all of that fun stuff. i printed off the assignment calendars and the first couple of sections, and i completed the first of the homework assignments and ordered my home lab kit which should be here by around Friday. i went with mom to Sam's Club for a few things, and my sore throat kicked it up a notch. i'm scared because Bethany had strep a couple of days ago, and if I have it too, i'm going to be pretty frustrated. i hate amoxicillin. tomorrow i will spend the day shopping with Bethany, much to Tyler's dismay. and then on Wednesday mom and i will be driving dad's big truck to mesa so that i can empty out the house and at least have my room cleaned up. i have to get my fan fixed in my room here, as well. but i wouldn't have a clue as to how to go about doing that...it's way off balance and looks like it's going to fall down. i need to clean Lasagna's cage, too. it's hot in there, and i feel bad for her, so i may move her back out here to the living room for a few weeks. we will see how that goes. i'm not sure if there is anything else going on really. i'm OBSESSED with farm town on facebook, and when i'm not doing that or reading or doing homework, that's where you will find me. i'll probably post later. i'm not sure whether or not tyler is going to be here tonight, we will see!

THE FIRST PRACTICE/SCRIMMAGE OF THE NEW SEASON IS TONIGHT!!!
I couldn't be more excited!!

I just have to finish my extra credit for history, and then do my final in there, all three parts, and I am FINISHED with my first full semester at ASU. :)

P.S. ..."and dig in your pants"...HAHAHAHAH!!!

I got my first grade of my first full semester at ASU! It's an A-! I knew my nutrition teacher loved me, haha! But I really tried in that class. I couldn't be more happy. This is such fantastic news. I worked so hard and it's starting to show. Man, what a great thing to add to my day! I got one more section of math completed, so I only have one more to finish before tomorrow morning! Then I have to do the chapter outline for 2000-2009 for my history class, and the final in there, and in math at 7:30AM tomorrow, and I will be DONE! I got my english self-evaluation finished around 11 today, and just finished that math section about 10 minutes ago. Off to do the other, and some history! :) YAY!

P.S. Tawnya came over and we went to Borders to get my G Free Diet book, and it was $25! I was like, no thanks, I'll go somewhere else. It says online it's a lot cheaper, but I just couldn't believe they would charge that much. I think I may even wait for the paperback version to come out, because I think that's on its way out soon, as well.

P.S.S.This Mother's Day party that we are planning for Sunday is kind of blowing up, haha! It will be the four of us, Tyler & his mom and brother, Tawyna and her two boys, my aunt and her husband and maybe girls, Tawnya's mom and dad, AND Bethany and James w/Riley! This is going to be an awesome time, hope it's warm enough to swim, and I'm CRAVING this mexican food immensely right now!

this is my goal for today. to make the best of everything. and to smile a lot. to not take anything for granted, and appreciate everything that i have, or don't have. i WILL be happy today, and i will enjoy the day.

because this is my new favorite show ever, and i love everything about it, i think i'll be going out and buying THIS book too. but i have to figure out how much it is, first. :)

i'm going out and buying this tomorrow. it will either help, or it won't. and there is only one way to find out!

I started packing up my room today. I have my bookcase done, and the drawers in the desk. I have to work on my clothes next, and the stuff in the bathroom, too. I don't want to pack anymore though. I want to go to Michael's and get a cross stitch. But I don't really want to go anywhere, either. I am officially allergic to bananas and banana bread. Thanks for finally finding that out, the hard way. I have one more class today at 3PM and then I can go home and hang out with family. I just hate being out here so much. I don't know what in the world I'm going to do about school next semester, but dad said let's not stress about that until the time comes. I am going to spend this weekend working on emptying out my room at home, re-painting, going through everything I own and donating most of it, and then re-doing everything. I need a nice place to escape to when I'm home, it's official. Well. I don't really know what else is going on right now. I am done with all of my classes except two. That's refreshing. I have yet to hear back from the 3 jobs I applied for, but I'm waiting patiently. I think it should be time for a nap, since that's all I ever do anymore. Bye.

I'm procrastinating on these last 2 letters that are due tomorrow at 9AM for english. I'm having a terribly hard time finding any sort of motivation to complete them. I really want to go get Starbucks, but I don't want to go on my own, and I haven't really been feeling well. Melanie is sick too, so there is no way I'm asking her because I don't want to get any more sick than I am. I was playing Super Mario Galaxy earlier, and I have quite a bit of it finished. I'm tired and lazy and I need to go get motivated, but I think I will take another nap first. That's all I do/want to do anymore, it's terrible. I applied for 3 different jobs this weekend and today, so I am waiting to hear from them. I hope I can just get a job for the summer, make some money, and feel secure next semester. I have to figure out where I can get the best loan for next semester, and so Tyler and I an move out together in a couple of months. HMM...That's it. I'm done talking about nothing.

This is officially the last week of the semester, and the end of my first semester at ASU full-time. I am stressing so much over not having a job, not having money, and not having a place to leave to go to school next semester. I'm pretty sure Tyler and I will be moving out together shortly, but I have to find out whether or not I can even figure out how to pay for the next semester. I'm excited for summer school and stuff, I guess. I hate more than anything that I have to take chemistry again, but I will conquer it this time. I got a "Dimensional Man" yesterday at Borders for $20. I named him Franklin. I know I need to post a lot more but I really don't want to...So I'll post again another time, when I'm not so bored and tired and L A Z Y.