Monday, May 11, 2009
chemistry is going to be my life for the next 16 weeks. i will live, sleep, eat, breathe it. i will do everything in my power not only to pass it, but to get an A. kind of sad that it won't transfer to ASU as an A, only a pass/fail, but in my heart i will know that i did it. i spent the day paying for the class, registering for Mastering Chemistry again, all of that fun stuff. i printed off the assignment calendars and the first couple of sections, and i completed the first of the homework assignments and ordered my home lab kit which should be here by around Friday. i went with mom to Sam's Club for a few things, and my sore throat kicked it up a notch. i'm scared because Bethany had strep a couple of days ago, and if I have it too, i'm going to be pretty frustrated. i hate amoxicillin. tomorrow i will spend the day shopping with Bethany, much to Tyler's dismay. and then on Wednesday mom and i will be driving dad's big truck to mesa so that i can empty out the house and at least have my room cleaned up. i have to get my fan fixed in my room here, as well. but i wouldn't have a clue as to how to go about doing that...it's way off balance and looks like it's going to fall down. i need to clean Lasagna's cage, too. it's hot in there, and i feel bad for her, so i may move her back out here to the living room for a few weeks. we will see how that goes. i'm not sure if there is anything else going on really. i'm OBSESSED with farm town on facebook, and when i'm not doing that or reading or doing homework, that's where you will find me. i'll probably post later. i'm not sure whether or not tyler is going to be here tonight, we will see!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
it's here. it's now, and it's real.
i wait all week to come home, to be free and have fun, just LIVE a little after a week, and i get home and it's worse than being alone and miserable. it's ridiculous. i just don't get it. i don't know why i'm so mentally unstable. i'm sitting here crying, tyler is doing his best to help, but it's really not working. i hate being in mesa alone, but now it's like, i don't know what i am going to do after i have to come back here. my brother is mean, my parents are being weird, mom is drinking, so i'm frustrated by that. i just don't know what to think. i wake up and i'm so tired. i never feel like i have slept enough to last a whole day. and usually i sleep sometime during the day. and that NEVER happened before. nothing gives me any sort of pleasure at all right now, or happiness. i can't focus on school and my projects, and this is the end of the semester. the most important few weeks. but i can't even do my projects or anything. i can't handle it all. i don't know what to do...honestly. and any other time i would go home tomorrow morning, but i'm going home tonight after laundry is done, because i can't handle this much longer.
