this world is ours - let's make it beautiful

i want this tattoo. if only i wouldn't be thrown out of my house for getting it...haha. i also want one that says: "be open to whatever comes next."

"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."
John W. Gardner

this weekend went surprisingly well. there were a few hiccups here and there. but nothing that would spoil the trip, really. i learned that i'm pretty good at fishing, but not so much at handling the fish. this we already knew, but neither tyler nor i really knew how scared i actually was until i started catching the fish. we stayed at whitehorse in williams, and it was a really nice place. it was nice to get away and spend some quality time with tyler. it was interesting being away from home and all of the stuff here that long, but things went well out there. his family was, well, his family. haha. there's not much more you can say about them. but it was worth the trip. now it's time to start planning the trip we are taking with MY family in two weeks. ;) this time, i get to take my quad. & can i just say that i hope it's raining & muddy!!! :) goodnight.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Howard Thurman

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

"All my like I had been looking for something, and everywehre I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naive. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself."
Ralph Ellison

i'm supposed to go camping with tyler today. i decided that i would take my chemistry stuff with me and we could work it out. and that i would meet with a tutor online monday when we got home. but now that's not going to happen. my dad is really upset about some things that are going on at home, and i'm a big part of it. i was just talking to him online while he is at work, and now i'm crying because of it. i could run away from it and leave this weekend. but i know the whole time i'm gone all i'm going to be doing is thinking about what is going on at home. so i will stay. and i will cry. and i will deal with the wrath. i try to find happiness in all of this. and when i finally find some, something else happens. i can hardly handle myself anymore.

"Trust that still, small voice that says,
"This might work and I'll try it."
Diane Mariechild

saving abel - 18 days

Here is my Fall 2009 schedule: (subject to change slightly)

Monday:
10:45AM - 11:35AM Human Anatomy/Physiology I (downtown)
11:50AM - 2:40PM Human Anatomy/Physiology I Lab (downtown)

Tuesday:
10:30AM - 11:45AM Nutrition Services Management (polytechnic)
3:00PM - 4:15PM Microbiology (downtown)

Wednesday:
10:45AM - 11:35AM Human Anatomy/Physiology I (downtown)

Thursday:
3:00PM - 4:15PM Microbiology (downtown)

Friday:
10:45AM - 11:35AM Human Anatomy/Physiology I (downtown)

Online:
Elements of Statistics (west, online)

Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity."
Christopher Morley

this may be a whole new start for me...

SCNM

it turns out this isn't happening. and if it is, it's not until after i finish my bachelor's. which hopefully will be within the next year and a half?

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
Helen Keller

so it's totally not even close to being thanksgiving, but these turkeys made me laugh, so i had to use them. :)

today is going to be rather productive i hope...

i don't have to work out, REST DAY! (those are my favorite right now)

.make cookies.
.take cartridge to be filled.
.read the secret.
.pay brother's tuition for dad.
.find stoves for dad.
.do lab & report.
.call orthodontist.
.call for contacts.
.clean up living room.
.clean up my bedroom.

the list is never-ending. that's definitely not the order things will be happening, but as long as they get done, i could care less!

Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.
Helen Keller

special thanks goes to securityville for this recipe!
i'm going to make them tomorrow!

You'll need...
2 sticks (or one cup) of margarine
1 cup of firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt (optional)
3 cups of Quaker Oats (old-fashioned or the quick variety)
1 cup raisins and dried cranberries.

Heat oven to 350 degrees; beat together the margarine & sugars until creamy; add eggs & vanilla and beat well; add combined flour, baking soda, cinnamon & salt; mix well. Stir in oats, raisins/cranberries; mix well. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 10-12 minutes or until golden brown. Cool one minute on the cookie sheet then transfer to a wire cooling rack.

EDIT! THIS IS THE BEST COOKIE RECIPE EVER! and i found it for myself under the lid of the oats. :) they turned out fantastic, and i'm glad i chose only to use the cranberries. i'm not a big fan of raisins

colbie caillat - fallin' for you
her new album "breakthrough" comes out on august 25th, and i am very excited!!

i'm very excited about my new fishing pole, because i've never had my own before, and this one is so perfect!!!

it's making me very excited to go fishing, too. it looks like i might be going on two camping trips in the next two weeks instead of just one!!! :)

i want to post a lot more today, but i know i probably won't. i have to do a lot of chemistry, and take brother to see my doctor at 2:30. there are crazy sores all over the inside of his mouth and tongue. EWW. i know doctor corcoran can help! :)

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Helen Keller

i've accomplished much today, but also very little. i got the trailer cleaned up with dad, and then we packed it up and hooked it back up to his truck and took it back to tempe. it was hot as heck, but we made it without any faults. minus losing 2 locks, one of which we found later. but we got that put back, so it's not in front of the house. we are going camping next week i think instead of this week since brother is still really sick. i'm praying i don't get it, but i'm also trying to talk to him and keep him company in his room, so we will see what happens. tyler wants me to go with them on friday, but i have to talk to dad and mom about it first. today i have homework to accomplish, and i have to work out. having that rest yesterday was amazing, because i hurt everywhere and pretty much had a hard time moving. today i'm still sore, but not like i was at all. so i will do that. and dad and i went to sam's club and fry's too, we are making pork tenderloin for supper!!! tasty life. i'm going to work on some of my to-do list. i've been doing pretty amazing with no soda. i haven't had it in well over a week, and i've drank a ton of water, which is really good, and a lot easier than i thought it would be. tyler is here. until later<3.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Judy Garland

"Love one another, but not make a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.

Even as the string of the lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each others keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart.
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

For love is sufficient unto love.

- The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran

CAN I JUST SAY THAT YESTERDAY WAS MY 100th BLOGGER POST?!?! YAY!!!

the book is teaching me to be proud of the things that i have accomplished, and not dwell on the things that i haven't accomplished. here will be part of my strategy. :)

so far today i have...

.worked out. (20 exercises, about 25 minutes total)
.cleaned pig pig's cage
.cleaned pish's tank
.read 17 pages of The Secret
.moved my bike to the barn

more to come...

.shower
.subway with tyler
.do some chemistry
.2 softball games
.brush casie more
.take more airborne
.watch the secret
.return the haunting in connecticut

and some others that i can't remember right now.

can i just say that i hurt, really bad? and that perhaps working out twice in two days before softball wasn't a good idea at all?

so maybe i'm a cradle robber...haha.
he's 22! i'm not a cradle robber! I KNEW IT! its love. there is a chance for us!! :)

tyler came over yesterday when i was finishing up my workout. we went to walgreens to get my ever so ungrateful and ill brother some medicine, and picked up a few other things for him. we got some jello (strawberry and raspberry) and mixed in a can of fruit cocktail and a can of sliced peaches. (the peaches were an accident...) haha. and then we watched the haunting in connecticut from redbox(our new favorite thing) haha. it was crazy. it was based on a true story, so it was more real to me. and the main boy was ill and that was really hard to watch. he was hot though, for being really sick. but i only screamed a couple times, and once i made tyler jump too! but he won't admit it. haha. i know what i saw.

tonight is softball. we play another two games, but thankfully they don't start until 8:30 so the sun will be down and it won't be as treacherous outside for us to play. we were short a girl because i guess carrie is doing something, so i asked tawnya if she could get off of work early, and she is going to try. if nothing else we can have her play the 9:30 game, she can't possibly be late for that one! it just sucks ending so late, but after games i'm so tired and ready for sleep anyways that it really doesn't even matter. we are going to frys electronics with dad on our way to the game, too. he has to get some stuff for his servers.

this weekend we are having a pool party, i think. tawnya, christopher, and chris are going to come over. i think we will invite xavier if he comes tonight, and then see whoever else wants to come by. i talked to dad about it and he said it would be fine. beats sitting around all weekend being bored and lazy. that's no fun for anyone. :)

so yesterday i did my first workout with active personal trainer for wii. i've never done something so strenuous, i don't think. it doesn't help that it was already a tad warm in my house, but i've never sweat like that before. she had me doing a walk/run to start(short), some bicep curls, another run(medium), some arm stuff, some lunges, some squats, some other things, and another run(long). it was intense. but it felt really good when it was over, except that i felt like jello all over. haha. i finished the 22 minute workout in 18 minutes, though. so that was awesome. it's going to be great once i finish the 30 day challenge!!! oh and i failed to mention that was a "low intensity" workout versus the medium or high...crazy lady!

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds."
-Noah, The Notebook

i went on a sort of shopping spree today...

i got:

.wii active personal trainer
.the book "the secret"
.a new jumprope
&&
.purple pillow with arms!!

i only spent $15 on the active (had a $50 gift card)
and $12 was paid for in bookmans credit
anddd daddy let me buy the pillow for $13
oh & the jumprope was at the dollar store :)!

today i've done the following!!!
.bookmans with mom.
.hobby bench for eyes for turtle with mom.
.game stop with mom.
.walmart with mom.
.grocery store with mom.
.call orthodontist & leave message for amy.
.fax allergy stuff to dr. wong's office.
.call walgreens for daddy.
.help daddy cancel his credit card.
.water the yard.
.worked out for 18+ minutes on that damn personal trainer, WHOOPED MY ASS!!!

"The only thing about a man that is a man ...is his mind. Everything else you can find in a pig or a horse."
- Archibald MacLeish

this movie was fantastic. i don't know how i haven't seen it before, but it was so good, and so touching. it proves that working for something you want is worth the fight.

i feel as though i've been hit by a truck...i feel awful inside & out. and i can't handle it...i'm dying. wtf is wrong with me now? why is this happening again? suicide is not funny, but...when you feel this awful, you run out of options.

EDIT: my dad says i can either tell myself i'm alright & play it that way for a while, or go to the psychiatrist like my dr. says. i don't really know what to do. but i'm scared.

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. "
- Martin Luther King Jr.

i finished my first amigurumi animal today. it turned out pretty cute for my first time making anything that wasn't a square or a rectangle...haha. here are a couple of pictures.
for some reason he looks grey, but really he's a light purple color.
i don't like the nostrils at all, but tomorrow i'll take them out and do them again.

i have not been feeling well at all today so this kind of helped me to relax. i've had a head, back, and neck ache all day, and a really upset stomach. i didn't get a chance to ride the bike or work out at all either, which sucks. but tomorrow i'm hoping i will be able to get up and do something. tyler wants me to go hang out with him for a little bit, and then we will probably go to the game store and get my active personal trainer. i'm not sure that there is anything else out there that i would rather have? i think i'm really going to try to go to sleep right now. i'm out of it, and my attempts last night failed due to my reading 48 pages into the time traveler's wife. it seems like it's going to be very good, it just takes a while to get used to the set up of the book. it jumps around quite a bit. that's all for today. tomorrow i will work on chemistry and hopefully start another project. not sure what's next. goodnight.

here are the instructions:
Supplies needed:

F Hook
Small amounts of WW yarn
Stitch marker or safety pin
Buttons for eyes (optional)
Fiberfill


Terms used
Sc = single crochet
Sc-dec = single crochet decrease over 2 stitches
Ch = chain
BLO = back loops only
FO = Finish off, or Fasten off
Slp-st = slip stitch

You will need 2 colors to stripe the shell.
They will be referred to as color 1 = C1, and color 2 = C2.

Shell
Each round will end with a slp-st to the first sc made in that row.
With C1
Ch 2
1) 6 sc in 2nd ch from hook
C2
2) ch 1, 2 sc in each sc around (12 sc)
C1
3) ch 1, (2 sc in first sc, sc in next sc) repeat around (18 sc)
C2
4) ch 1, sc in each sc around
C1
5) ch 1, (2 sc in first sc, sc in next 2 sc) repeat around (24 sc)
C2
6) ch 1, sc in each sc around
C1
7) ch 1, (2 sc in first sc, sc in next 3 sc) repeat around (30 sc)
C2
8) ch 1, sc in each sc around
C1
9) ch 1, sc in each sc around, finish off C1 at end of this row
C2
10) ch 1, sc in each sc around
11) in BLO, ch 1, (sc-dec, sc in next 3 sc) repeat around (24 sc)
12) ch 1, (sc-dec, sc in next 2 sc) repeat around (18 sc)
STUFF
13) ch 1, (sc-dec, sc in next sc) repeat around (12 sc)
14) ch 1, sc-dec around (6 sc)
FO . Use tail to sew hole closed.


Head
Head is done in one continuous spiral.
Ch 2
1) 6 sc in 2nd ch from hook
2) 2 sc in each sc around (12 sc)
3) (2 sc in first sc, sc in next sc) repeat around (18 sc)
4) (2 sc in first sc, sc in next 2 sc) repeat around (24 sc)
5-7) sc in each sc around
8) (sc-dec, sc in next 2 sc) repeat around 18 sc
9) sc in each sc around
10) (sc-dec, sc in next sc) repeat around (12 sc)
slp st to next sc. FO, leaving long tail for sewing

Legs (make 4)
Legs are done in one continuous spiral
Ch 2,
1) 6 sc in 2nd ch from hook
2-3) sc in each sc around
Slp st to next sc. FO leaving long tail for sewing

Tail
Ch 4,
1) slp st in 2nd ch from hook, slp st in next ch, sc in last ch.
FO

Stuff and sew head to turtle body.
Sew legs on the underside of turtle.
Sew tail onto turtle tush.

here's the instructions:
Materials:

Size 10 Thread in 2 different colors (1 for the body, 1 for wings)
Size 7 steel hook (1.65mm)
Needle (to weave in ends)

Finish Size: 7/8”h x 1 ½” inches at it widest. 11” to 12”h counting tail. (Depending on how long the tassel is.)

Different Sts:
Treble Crochet (tc): Yarn over twice, insert hook in next st, yarn over, pull up a loop, yarn over, pull through 2 loops, yarn over, pull through 2 more loops, yarn over, pull through last 2 loops.


Body:

Part 1: Leaving a 4” to 5” inch tail Ch97, 6 dc in 3rd chain from hook, turn so you’re working on other side of chain. Work 6 dc in same chain; join with sl st to first dc. (12dc)

Part 2: Ch5, slst in 2nd chain from hook, and in each of the next 3 chains. Sl st in each of the next 2 sts, ch5, sl st in 2nd chain from hook and in each of the next 3 chains, sl st in next st. Finish off and weave in end.

Wing 1:

Part 1: Join wing color to the next st after the last sl st of body with a sc, ch4, sc in next st, ch3, sc in next st, ch3 and turn.

Part 2: 1 tc in sc, (1 tc, 1 dc, 1 hdc, 1sc) all in ch3 space, sl st in next sc, (sc, ch3, 5 tc, 1 dc) all in ch4 space, ch2 sl st in next sc. Finish off and weave in ends.

Wing 2:

Part 1: Join wing color to body in 3rd dc from bottom part of wing 1 with a sc, ch3, sc in next st, ch4, sc in next st, ch2 and turn.

Part 2: (1 dc, 5 tc, ch3, sc) all in ch4 space, sl st in next sc, (1 sc, 1 hdc, 1 dc, 1 tc) all in ch3 space, 1 tc in next sc, ch3, sl st in same st. Finish off and weave in ends.

Tassel: Cut ten 10” inch pieces of thread. Insert hook in first chain made of the Ch97. Fold pieces of thread in half over the hook. With pieces of thread pull up a loop. Take hook out of loop and pull loose threads through the loop and pull taut. Make a knot to secure tassel. Trim to desired length.

how cute would these be?! :)

here are the instructions:
Materials:
Small amount of size 10 crochet cotton
Size 6 steel crochet hook

Size: can easily be adjusted! Simply add or subtract a few starting chs to fit your finger.

Rnd 1: ch 20, join w sl st to 1st ch to form a ring, ch 1, sc in 1st ch and in each ch around, join w sl st to first sc (20 sc).
Rnd 2: sl st again in same st, ch 1,* sl st in next sc, ch 1, rep from * around, join w sl st to 1st sl st, fasten off (20 sl st).
Rnd 3: Now, you will work into the free INSIDE ch loops of the ring. I have tried to illustrate this in the picture. Basically, you will now work into the opposite side of the beginning chain. Join w sl st to 1st free loop of beg ch, ch 1,* sl st in next ch, ch 1, rep from * around, join w sl st to 1st sl st, fasten off (20 sl st).

Weave in ends.

these would be super cute and practical, as well. i mean it doesn't get THAT cold in phoenix, but it would be nice to have one for those of us who are chicken to the chilly weather!!

here are the instructions:

Ingredients:
-Some scrap amounts (less then 50 yds) of Summit Hill by Kraemer Yarn Shop, 100% Merino Superwash wool, Worsted weight, Machine Washable (most important factor! you'll hate if you have to wash any of these by hand)
-H (5.00mm) hook
-2 (3/4") buttons
-needle to weave in ends.

Recipe:
CH 33
Row 1 (public side): Linked TR in 2nd, 3rd, and 5th ch from hook, Linked TR in each remaining ch across, CH 1, turn
{ Not sure what Linked TR is? Look at this pic, this pic, this pic, and this pic for help, Basically you insert your hook in to the previous stitch's horizontal bar then yarn over (its like crossing Tunisian crochet with regular crochet) still confused? then check out CrochetMe's winter issue where I have a tutorial on the stitch)
Row 2 (beer side): SC in first 2 TR, Ch 3, sk 3 TR, (button hole made) SC in ea remaining TR, CH 4, turn
Row 3: Linked TR in each SC across to button hole, 3 Linked TR in button hole, Linked TR in last 2 SC, CH 1, turn


Repeat row 2-3 once more, Fasten off, weave in ends.


(optional) With public side facing, join yarn and SL around entire bracelet. I do this just to give it a crisp finished look.
Add buttons as shown here to the opposite side from the button holes aligned with the SC rows.
Slip on and enjoy.

i think i'm going to make some of these. the flat style, not the mens one. i don't know what color to use, yet, but i think this will be a fun & easy project, and you could do tons of things to make them cute!!

here are the instructions:
Finished Size: Any size you want it!
Following the exact round and row count give: 4” (10 cm) wide, 9” (23 cm) long, fitting approximately a women’s size 6

Materials:
Medium Weight Yarn
Crochet Hook G (4.00 mm)
Yarn Needle
Measuring Tape or Size Chart
Scissors

Gauge: not important. For best fit, measure foot size and follow instructions for altering slipper.

Need help understanding the abbreviations? Check out the crochet abbreviation chart.

Crochet Pattern: Slipper

Note: Round 1 – 8 starts the toe of the slipper by creating a circle. For best fit, make sure that the diameter of the circle is slightly smaller than the width of the wearer’s foot. To adjust the circle size, simply add or subtract rounds as needed.

Round 1: ch 2, 6 sc in second ch from hook, place marker: 6 sc
Round 2: 2 sc in each sc around: 12 sc
Round 3: (2 sc in next sc, sc in next sc) around: 18 sc
Round 4: (2 sc in next sc, sc in next 2 sc) around: 24 sc
Round 5: (2 sc in next sc, sc in next 3 sc) around: 30 sc
Round 6: (2 sc in next sc, sc in next 4 sc) around: 36 sc
Round 7: (2 sc in next sc, sc in next 5 sc) around: 42 sc
Round 8: (2 sc in next sc, sc in next 6 sc) around: 48 sc

Continue increasing the circle until the diameter is slightly smaller than the width of the wearer’s foot.

Note: Round 9 – 27 creates the front/toe of the slipper. You may choose to make this portion as long or short as you desire. To adjust length add or subtract rounds as needed. The length of the slipper upon completion of these rounds should not go pass the ankle of the wearer’s foot.

Round 9 - 27: sc in each sc around: 48 sc

Continue until the desired length of the front of the slipper is obtained.

Note: Row 28 establishes the length of the two sides plus the bottom of the slipper. The length of this row should be greater than the diameter of the slipper. 30 single crochets is the recommended length that is used in this example. You may increase or decrease the number of single crochets made to better fit your slipper size.

Row 28: sc in next 30 sc: 30 sc

Note: Row 29 – 43 creates the rest of the slipper, which includes heal and back of foot. Upon completing this set of rows your slipper should exactly reach the back of the wearer’s ankle. Increase or decrease the number of rows as you see necessary.

Row 29 – 43: ch 1, turn, sc in next 30 sc: 30 sc

Finish off. With yarn needle, sew back of slipper together.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

update: i started this one tonight. i used a couple of scrap pieces of fabric to make it. i have the two sides sewn together, but now i have to figure out what to do after that. it only took me like 20 minutes so far. but i'm going to wait until tomorrow morning to figure the rest out.

"Tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe you... Tell him that a bench has wet paint upon it and he'll have to touch it to be sure."

this post is a little late, but i've been busy! :)

this was when i finally got it sewed together, trying to decide how i'm going to put it together. i couldn't decide if i wanted to make it a book bag, or a real purse-like bag.

here is a finished picture. we realized after it was over that we needed to put fabric on the inside of the straps so that it wouldn't be super stretchy, but by the time my mind realized this it was too late and time for her party.

here's the inside. i took off all of the strings and stuff. it was a cute fabric i think, but for my first real crochet project, and just using what i had around, i think it turned out nicely.

i got her this stuff too.

and this is the last of it. it wasn't much, but it was the thought that counts. mom made her the bookmark and the monkey. :)

happy birthday, bfff!

vanessa and i found this game today at walgreens, and we are now playing it with tyler & brother. after our amazing sunday dinner that consisted of ribs, corn-not-so-on-the-cob, and twice-baked potatoes. ohhh && dutch apple pie for dessert. it's a good day. :)

although i had an extremely hard time finding a legit poster for this one, it's a given. who DOESN'T want to see this?! :) NOVEMBERRRRR.

this one looks amazinggg!!! i loved the first one, and this one is going to be even better. the previews looked great! but it doesn't come out until december. :(

i have to see this, just to see how fantastic the graphics are going to be, come on, you don't have to be a kid to love toy story!!! it comes out in october, i think??

i loveeee that jim carrey is scrooge in this one, and it looks awesome! definitely going to see this is 3-D in november!!!

yesterday afternoon, brother, mom, dad, & i went and saw this. it was really cute!! after we watched it we all realized we hadn't seen the second one, and that perhaps that might have helped us in understanding some of the material from the third. it was good though, and i definitely recommend going and seeing it in 3-D if you can! the ending was good, and the plot flowed well!! those squirrels get me every time. haha. i am determined to go see more 3-D movies this summer!!!

last night we watched this movie. it was tyler, brother, cousin, and i. it was really creepy, but i only screamed a handful of times. a lot of the story plot stood solid, some of it threw me off, and it was undoubtably disturbing, but i can't say that i hated it. i cried in the theatre when we watched quarantine, but not this one, although it might have been a tad creepier. :)

daughtry - no surprise

"Take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine, that all the world will be in love with night."
- Romeo & Juliet

"the best way to become boring is to say everything."
-voltaire

"In the space between yes and no, theres a lifetime. It's the difference between who you thought you could be, and who you really are."

"Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

i like the colors this one is made out of already!

i would like to make this little guy, but without the graduation hat, just the owl. i think he's handsome! :)

i'm definitely making me some of these. perhaps not those colors, but they look so cute, and SO comfy!!! i'll make a pair for myself for sure, and then if anyone else wants some, well, i'll make them some too!

shh. no one tell kaitlin this, but i'm going to make her some of these for her baby(ies). :) here's the link to the pattern: baby sneaker booties pattern

i just finished tawnya's present. it took forever, and we changed our minds a couple of times, but overall i think it turned out awesome, and super cute, and we may make a couple more!! i'll post pictures of it all after it's all finished tomorrow!

"Before, my fear was being vulnerable. The ability of another human being to possibly tear apart your insides at any moment was enough to keep me running. He, however, made my insides come alive, my smile become permanent, laughter more frequent. He took away my fear and gave me hope. But more importantly, for the first time in my life, instead of wanting to run, he gave me every reason to stay."

i had heard from a few different sources that this movie was going to be fantastic, but i found it nothing close to that. it was alright, it had an okay story line, and the love story part was alright, but it was just too...corny, i guess? i wouldn't recommend it, or watch it again, that's for sure.

"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing."
~ Muhammad Ali

thanks to bethany jean weathersbee(not for much longer) for this one:

"One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it."
--Master Ugway, Kung Fu Panda

i loved this movie, and i recommend it to everyone. it's funny, and sad, but it displays such a fantastic message, and a message of true heroism, love and friendship!!! tomorrow is confessions of a shopaholic.

i am now the proud owner of adobe cs4, thanks to xavier ibarra! he got it for me a long time ago, and we never got around to installing it. so last night when he came over to hang out, he installed it for me, and now it's mine! i just have to figure out what each tool does. that will be easier said than done, but it's going to be a fun ride.

one of my all time favorite quotes:

"Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game."

this one wasn't what i expected to post, by any means, but while searching for the quote for today, i came across it, and it made me giggle, that's enough of a reason for me!

"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

it's thursday before the 4th of july weekend, and i don't really think anyone has plans? i was invited to go watch some fireworks with bethany & ash tomorrow, but...i don't know. i just have so many mixed emotions about all of that right now. i'm just having such a hard time understanding it all, and taking it all in. it's just so sad to me, it seriously breaks my heart. but, yea. so i don't know. my dad talked about having a little barbeque thing here this weekend, sometime. we will invite my aunt, and maybe xavier, i dunno who else yet, we haven't really talked about it. softball is cancelled though, which is kinda sad, except not? haha. everyone (well ALMOST everyone) has the day off tomorrow, so it will be cool to just hang out and relax all weekend. i've been really trying to help dad out with stuff around here. it's the least i can do, seeing as i can't find any outside employment.

my stupid macbook is falling apart, it's driving me nuts. the stupid cd-rom drive died this morning when i went to play sims. and the usb port on the right side is broken. i'm so frustrated. everyone was like apple is so fantastic it's the greatest ever, never had any problems. WHATEVER. that's the biggest crock of crap i've ever heard. stupid apple people.

it's been fun to reminisce about old stuff with people lately, too. that's always so much fun when you can think of all of the things that have happened to get you to where you are right now. what a crazy roller coaster my life has been. i'm so tired, though, and it's hard to stay motivated on anything. but we're dealing with that slowly, but surely. i've got more stuff to take care of. off i go!

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass,
it's about learning to dance in the rain.

i now officially own sims 3, thanks to tyler! i'm so excited, but i had to stop playing. i was up WAY too late last night, and he said i to be in bed by 10pm. which was a few minutes ago, but i had to quit and take some time to check all of my stuff. it's pretty fun, but definitely a lot to get used to, and a lot to learn!

today we went to tyler's cardiologist, and well that was exciting, to say the least. he has another appointment tomorrow, but it's for his wrist with his primary. and well, that was really the high points of the day! other than what i posted online, and the e-mails i got in response. time for sleep. goodnight!

i've become a little bit of a craig's list fanatic.

i'm selling anything i can think of to get money to help out myself, and my daddy in these times of need. there is really a lot of things around here that don't necessarily do us any good, so why not make a bit of a profit? it's much easier than setting up a yard sale. especially in this heat, that's NO FUN at all!

so far i've listed:
♥dad's old atari
♥my fox riding pants (SO sad i grew out of them!!!)
♥my old mountain bike

to be listed:
♥more bikes
♥sega genesis & games
♥playstation & games
♥dirtbike tires

edit: i got an email about the atari and the bike. he wants pictures of the bike, so i will send them to him tomorrow!

hello, july!

life right now feels so off for me. i just don't feel like i'm anywhere near where i need to be. && i'm struggling it much more than i had ever imagined. nothing feels like it's in place lately, and i just don't feel okay about anything. i'm so down on life, and have no motivation for anything. nothing is bringing me joy like it normally does, and i can't get excited about anything. i need/want to feel normal again. i just don't feel good right now, and it's really hard to deal with.

i need to catch a break, i need something amazing to happen, i need a miracle!

"I believe we write our own stories and each time we think we know the ending, we don't. Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance and in peace that comes from knowing you just can't know it all. You know, life's funny that way. Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong."
♥
"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge, that myth is more potent than history. I believe that dreams are more powerful than acts, that hope always triumphs over experience, that laughter is the only cure for grief. But above all, I believe that love is stronger than death."

&& she talks about you like you put the stars in the sky.

i forgot just how much i loved this man. watching the first fast and the furious helps me to remember. :)

going to get pizza, pasta, and cheese breadsticks with tyler & garrett.

Jordin Sparks - Battlefield
T-Pain & Taylor Swift - Thug Story
Keri Hilson - Knock You Down
Shinedown - Second Chance
Kenny Chesney - Out Last Night
Brad Paisley - Then (not a good video)

first off, can i just say that i burnt my grilled cheese today, and it was still fantastic? can you ruin a grilled cheese? is that even possible? i think not.

.shower (DONE!)
.buy hair ties (DONE!)
.chemistry lab (DONE!)
.lunch with tyler (DONE!)
.clean the bathroom (DONE!)
.watch harry potter 3 (DONE!)
.chemistry homework (DONE!)
.check chemistry grades (DONE!)
.harvest & plant my farm (DONE!)
.drop package off at fed-ex (DONE!)
.paint fingers (DONE!)/toes(DONE!)
.finish 2009 SH&B reconciliations (DONE!)
.chemistry 60 question m.c. take home test (DONE!)
.get stuff together to sell online for daddy (IN PROGRESS...)
.teach dad how to use his FB
.sweep & mop bathroom floor
.rock wall climbing w/tyler
.library
.order thermapak & mail in old fan
.shop for dad's father's day present
.chemistry 2 question essay take home test (DONE!)
.chemistry lab (DONE!)
.drs appointment with bfff (DONE!)
.petsmart (DONE!)
.macbook to apple (DONE!)

i know my birthday is a couple months from now, but i've never had a birthday list, and this year i do, and everyone is happy about that, so i will put it on here, and add to it if need be!

-a pair of tom's shoes.
-pink thermapak for macbook.
-fmylife book.
-iPod touch update.
-the last word board game.

i just found the coolest website for blogger templates. there are so many i could have a new one every day for a year...YES! :) makes me very happy. i tanned today for about 45 minutes, and i'm BURNT but it will turn into a tan. i'm already really tan, somehow, and it's only june!

thermapak<33
buy this for me, please? thank you! :) haha. tyler is going to buy this for me as soon as he figures out how much money he has. it's not soon enough, though! :(

i'm definitely buying this when i get my job, i can't wait! it looks awesome, and i remember when mom bought me the very first one when it came out, i played it for days and days on end. :) this and active will be my first purchases as a worker. haha.

i got a job interview set up for tomorrow at 1:30 at CHW for the OCR position. it's not exactly what i want to be doing right now, but i don't have much room to be turning down jobs right about now. so like dad said, i will go, and see what's up, and go from there. :)

this is my new favorite thing ever. you don't have to buy gum forever. haha. i got a pack while brother and i were at target getting shampoo and car air fresheners.
i got this today, too. the pink one. it will be perfect for going out! i can't wait.

today i got a lot done. helped dad with bills, i went shopping with mom, cleaned my room, cleaned out my truck(totally deep cleaned it), finished the 2nd harry potter book(tawnya and i decided a couple weeks ago we would read them all and watch the movies), went to target and got some stuff, finished and submitted my lab report, cleaned lasagnas cage, umm. i think that's it? i don't remember. now i'm going to watch harry potter and the chamber of secrets. goodnight<3.

insomnia is terrible. i can't stand it. i don't know how to fix it, either. i need to start working out more, in the worst way. tawnya and i were supposed to have started a workout routine two weeks ago, but that didn't happen. i don't know why i'm so lazy. i need to start working on that. i did swim 10 laps today, and i totally forgot how extremely painful that can be...i will start doing that more, though. definitely. things for me right now are complicated. it's so confusing. my heart is in 10 different places, and i just don't feel genuinely GOOD about anything right now. i need to really start working on that, it's on my list. but so is 500 other things. i need to start prioritizing. and stop being so tired every day. and just be better and happier. this is a worthless post, but it's 11 and i got out of bed to get on the computer. i have been overposting here, facebook, and twitter, but it's a healthy addiction. :)

with all of these relationship problems going on around me, i don't know how i'm holding together so well! but i am happy i can be there for my friends, if nothing else. i do what i can, and i'll do anything i can to make things better/easier for them.

i have been doing a fantastic job of keeping up with my to-do list that i previously posted. i am adding to it as things come up, and i'm still getting them taken care of in a fairly smooth manner. last night was our last scrimmage/practice before the season starts on june 12th. i am very excited, i was all over the bats yesterday, and that's awesome. good things will come from that, i'm sure! it took me long enough to start to feel it again. today i plan on going swimming, the pool is nothing short of extremely inviting today. i definitely need to swim some laps, that's for darn sure. i'm stressing out about money, a lot. but i'm still looking for jobs, so it's not like i'm not putting in ANY effort. i gave away my 5 tickets i got for the diamondbacks, i was going to go but my back is killing me today, and tomorrow is mom's birthday. OH i talked to brother and we have decided that for dad's birthday we will get him tickets to the monster jam. he wanted to go in january but we couldn't with everything going on. but we have to figure out what to get for mom's birthday tomorrow, and that's proving to be QUITE the challenge...haha. what do you get for the mom who has EVERYTHING?! i must be off to discover new things...

so i really, really, really want this. i told dad my birthday is coming, soon! haha. but it's got volleyball, inline skating, and basketball now. and it records how you're doing the exercises, and tells you what you're doing wrong. it's insane! i need a job. :( and it's compatible with wii fit!

.chemistry homework - 2 more problems.
.call insurance company about windshields
.watch harry potter & the sorcerers stone
.return taken to blockbuster
.return slumdog to redbox
.rechargeable battery for my wii fit
.shopping for shorts/summer stuff
.phone bill
.buffalo wild wings with bfff, cousin, and brother & his friends
.taxes stuff
.teach mom farm town
.dad's web page
.fix macbook cooling fan
.buy new macbook cooling fan
.work on dad's zune
.set up wii fit in living room
.water the yards
.bathroom box in living room
.job applications
.find asu paperwork
.to frys to buy propel body for softball
.pay phone bill for brother & tyler
.babysit christopher - 9AM friday!
.starbucks with tyler
.cash money order for softball
.return rechargeable battery for wii fit

just watched this movie, and i thought it was fantastic. it kind of took a while, but i liked the story-line, and the ending. all the right things to make it a movie i appreciate. :)

p.s. redbox is my new bfff<3.

tonight cousin, tawnya, and i watched this movie, and it was FANTASTIC. i can't believe i haven't seen it before. there is a list of movies i haven't seen that i need to, apparently, so we will work on that this summer. i went to wing night with everyone, it was an alright time. i texted the whole time...found out some stuff tonight that kind of makes me very nervous/confused. but i'll deal with that in due time. i'm tired, and wanted to say that the movie was great, and AS ALWAYS i love james mcavoy who i had NO idea was in this movie. two of my favorite movies star HIM!! :)

bought this today and it's going to be SO much fun to play with the girls! :) tomorrow is movie night, btw. with cousin, and i, and i was going to ask if tawnya could come, it will be a BLAST!!! love my girls!

i think it's supposed to rain this week, and i really want to go ride my quad in the rain, it's the most amazing thing to do, ever! i think this week is going to be an awesome week for me. friends, and fun, and rain!!! :) sweeeeeeet lovin'. OH and tree frogs<333.

so tyler rented this movie so i could see it, last night. it was terrific. he saw it in theaters with his friends, but i watched it last night and almost thoroughly enjoyed it. it was a really good story line, overall, and it had a nice ending, which i always enjoy. for getting old, liam neeson is pretty hot, love his voice. haha! but it was good, loved the plot and the happy ending.

so one of these fat little cuties will be MINEEEE by next weekend. thanks to my boyfriend, and my veryyyyy bfffff in the whole world, tawnya. i just have to figure out what to name him!!! i hope they have really pretty turquoise onessss! but i like the green ones, too! we shall see. :)

last night with cousin, tyler, brother, tawnya, and xavier, we went to D&B, and it was SO much fun. we got so much fun stuff with our tickets, it was awesome. and tyler and xavier were just drunk enough to amuse the crap out of all of us. haha! :)!!

here is a list of things that i could/should be doing:


1. finding and unpacking my chemistry book.
2. reading my chemistry chapters.
3. working on my horses.
4. reading my book.
5. sorting through mounds of laundry.
6. unloading my truck from mesa.
7. figuring out how to organize my room.
8. unpacking the boxes from my truck.
9. getting goodwill stuff together.
10. cleaning lasagna's cage.pretty sure i did that at midnight...
11. watching the tale of despereaux.
12. hanging out with tawnya.(cousin)
13. helping mom with dinner.
14. trying to figure out how to balance my fan.
15. cleaning up the living room.
16. the actual cleaning and organizing of my room.
17. finding and unpacking my tv remote.
18. going to mesa to get my NEW DESK!!!
19. putting all of my laundry back into it's correct places.

the list goes on and on, and still i'm sitting here doing absolutely nothing...

chemistry is going to be my life for the next 16 weeks. i will live, sleep, eat, breathe it. i will do everything in my power not only to pass it, but to get an A. kind of sad that it won't transfer to ASU as an A, only a pass/fail, but in my heart i will know that i did it. i spent the day paying for the class, registering for Mastering Chemistry again, all of that fun stuff. i printed off the assignment calendars and the first couple of sections, and i completed the first of the homework assignments and ordered my home lab kit which should be here by around Friday. i went with mom to Sam's Club for a few things, and my sore throat kicked it up a notch. i'm scared because Bethany had strep a couple of days ago, and if I have it too, i'm going to be pretty frustrated. i hate amoxicillin. tomorrow i will spend the day shopping with Bethany, much to Tyler's dismay. and then on Wednesday mom and i will be driving dad's big truck to mesa so that i can empty out the house and at least have my room cleaned up. i have to get my fan fixed in my room here, as well. but i wouldn't have a clue as to how to go about doing that...it's way off balance and looks like it's going to fall down. i need to clean Lasagna's cage, too. it's hot in there, and i feel bad for her, so i may move her back out here to the living room for a few weeks. we will see how that goes. i'm not sure if there is anything else going on really. i'm OBSESSED with farm town on facebook, and when i'm not doing that or reading or doing homework, that's where you will find me. i'll probably post later. i'm not sure whether or not tyler is going to be here tonight, we will see!

THE FIRST PRACTICE/SCRIMMAGE OF THE NEW SEASON IS TONIGHT!!!
I couldn't be more excited!!

I just have to finish my extra credit for history, and then do my final in there, all three parts, and I am FINISHED with my first full semester at ASU. :)

P.S. ..."and dig in your pants"...HAHAHAHAH!!!

I got my first grade of my first full semester at ASU! It's an A-! I knew my nutrition teacher loved me, haha! But I really tried in that class. I couldn't be more happy. This is such fantastic news. I worked so hard and it's starting to show. Man, what a great thing to add to my day! I got one more section of math completed, so I only have one more to finish before tomorrow morning! Then I have to do the chapter outline for 2000-2009 for my history class, and the final in there, and in math at 7:30AM tomorrow, and I will be DONE! I got my english self-evaluation finished around 11 today, and just finished that math section about 10 minutes ago. Off to do the other, and some history! :) YAY!

P.S. Tawnya came over and we went to Borders to get my G Free Diet book, and it was $25! I was like, no thanks, I'll go somewhere else. It says online it's a lot cheaper, but I just couldn't believe they would charge that much. I think I may even wait for the paperback version to come out, because I think that's on its way out soon, as well.

P.S.S.This Mother's Day party that we are planning for Sunday is kind of blowing up, haha! It will be the four of us, Tyler & his mom and brother, Tawyna and her two boys, my aunt and her husband and maybe girls, Tawnya's mom and dad, AND Bethany and James w/Riley! This is going to be an awesome time, hope it's warm enough to swim, and I'm CRAVING this mexican food immensely right now!

this is my goal for today. to make the best of everything. and to smile a lot. to not take anything for granted, and appreciate everything that i have, or don't have. i WILL be happy today, and i will enjoy the day.

because this is my new favorite show ever, and i love everything about it, i think i'll be going out and buying THIS book too. but i have to figure out how much it is, first. :)

i'm going out and buying this tomorrow. it will either help, or it won't. and there is only one way to find out!

I started packing up my room today. I have my bookcase done, and the drawers in the desk. I have to work on my clothes next, and the stuff in the bathroom, too. I don't want to pack anymore though. I want to go to Michael's and get a cross stitch. But I don't really want to go anywhere, either. I am officially allergic to bananas and banana bread. Thanks for finally finding that out, the hard way. I have one more class today at 3PM and then I can go home and hang out with family. I just hate being out here so much. I don't know what in the world I'm going to do about school next semester, but dad said let's not stress about that until the time comes. I am going to spend this weekend working on emptying out my room at home, re-painting, going through everything I own and donating most of it, and then re-doing everything. I need a nice place to escape to when I'm home, it's official. Well. I don't really know what else is going on right now. I am done with all of my classes except two. That's refreshing. I have yet to hear back from the 3 jobs I applied for, but I'm waiting patiently. I think it should be time for a nap, since that's all I ever do anymore. Bye.

I'm procrastinating on these last 2 letters that are due tomorrow at 9AM for english. I'm having a terribly hard time finding any sort of motivation to complete them. I really want to go get Starbucks, but I don't want to go on my own, and I haven't really been feeling well. Melanie is sick too, so there is no way I'm asking her because I don't want to get any more sick than I am. I was playing Super Mario Galaxy earlier, and I have quite a bit of it finished. I'm tired and lazy and I need to go get motivated, but I think I will take another nap first. That's all I do/want to do anymore, it's terrible. I applied for 3 different jobs this weekend and today, so I am waiting to hear from them. I hope I can just get a job for the summer, make some money, and feel secure next semester. I have to figure out where I can get the best loan for next semester, and so Tyler and I an move out together in a couple of months. HMM...That's it. I'm done talking about nothing.

This is officially the last week of the semester, and the end of my first semester at ASU full-time. I am stressing so much over not having a job, not having money, and not having a place to leave to go to school next semester. I'm pretty sure Tyler and I will be moving out together shortly, but I have to find out whether or not I can even figure out how to pay for the next semester. I'm excited for summer school and stuff, I guess. I hate more than anything that I have to take chemistry again, but I will conquer it this time. I got a "Dimensional Man" yesterday at Borders for $20. I named him Franklin. I know I need to post a lot more but I really don't want to...So I'll post again another time, when I'm not so bored and tired and L A Z Y.